French
life and living in Languedoc-Roussillon
The
following article was kindly supplied by Tony Clay at The
French Estate Agents Window.
18 years of being an ex- patriot
living and working in the Languedoc-Roussillon,
and rarely going home, doesnt really qualify me to comment
on the way of life back in Britain. However, the last five years spent
working for a French estate agency and watching our clientele quickly
changing from having been mostly French to becoming mostly British has
made it clear to me that whatever it may be like to live in the UK these
days a great many people seem to prefer the French way of life, or perhaps
it would be truer to say that they prefer living in France.
One of the major factors influencing
the change in our clientele has been the development in recent years of
budget airlines flying to smaller
airports like Carcassonne and Perpignan
etc; this alone has drawn thousands of Brits to the Aude
and the Pyrenees Orientales departments where we work. Another factor
is the popularity of shopping, even for real estate, on the internet.
Five years ago I worked everyday in our agency in Estagel where we hung
our wares in the window and waited for clients to come into
the agency, now I work from home managing three property websites and
only meeting my clients when they actually come out to visit with a short
list of property compiled over weeks and months of E mail communication
There are personal, individual
reasons too of course, some come for financial reasons, cashing in their
chips in UK property and buying a home or business in France can often
leave them with a tidy sum left over to fall back on or invest in something
else. Some come for a new start in life, a chance to realise a modest
dream that wasnt possible in the UK. This is especially true for
anyone interested in farming as France is predominantly an agricultural
society where farms are affordable and still state subsidized.
Many are drawn to France for
the space it enjoys, having approximately the same population as the British
Isles but being twice as big. Here you can actually enjoy driving, there
are fewer cars per head of population, less traffic jams in the towns
and country roads where you can drive for half an hour and not meet another
car.
Even before Ryanair and French
property websites changed the market, we always had British, Scandinavian,
Dutch and German Francophiles buying the odd holiday home, but now the
trend is for people to move out here lock, stock and barrel. I often tell
my clients that if they can survive here for two or three years then they
will probably never want to go back home.
To leave ones country of birth
is a great wrench for anyone, to adapt to a new country with new customs,
new rules and a new language to learn isnt something one ought to
undertake lightly, it requires a great deal of motivation and commitment.
Some people often underestimate
the culture shock of trying to set up in France, the often frustrating
French administration that can bury you in social charges and paperwork,
the frustration of not being able to communicate as freely as you could
back home and the little things that you have to learn to abide with like
shutters on the windows, shops being closed at mealtimes, driving on the
wrong side of the road and every village having its own town
hall
.these are not insurmountable problems for anyone with an ounce
or two of motivation and commitment for living in France but they are
daily reminders that you are an alien in someone elses country and
not just on holiday.
Some of the people I know
who have chucked it all in and gone back to blighty during the first two
or three crucial years have done so because they underestimated one very
important thing
.support.
No man is an island, I know
of several couples, one couple in particular who had been together for
23 years, whose relationships couldnt survive here with out the
support of the family and friends they had left behind in England. Others
who had moved out here on their own and for whatever reason just couldnt
adapt to the French way of life or just couldnt get
to grips with the language so that they always felt lonely and isolated.
France is a nation of villages and these villages are real communities
not dormitories as most villages have become in the UK. Some villages
are very good and welcoming, others are less so. When you install
your self into a French village community you will be treated with a)
a certain amount of suspicion and b) as a kind of minor celebrity at least
to begin with. Once they have satisfied themselves that you are not a
terrorist or a drug pusher etc; and that you are genteel they
will normally begin to accept you and draw you into their community. If
you want to survive in France you have to allow this to happen. Its
no good trying to retain your British stiff upper lip reserve
as the French dont understand this at all, they will ask you incredibly
personal questions like how much do you earn ?, how much did you pay for
your house ? (and they will always tell you that you paid too much), these
morsels of information will be passed on throughout the village, you can
be vague about your replies, you can even lie, but you must answer.
Another mistake some Brits
often make is thinking that in order to get to know people we have to
invite them for meals, polish up the family silver and put on an impressive
spread. This is unnecessary and unless you are an expert cordon bleu cook
unadvisable as most French like to criticize what they have just eaten
almost as much as they like eating and they wont even notice if
you get offended.
The French way of getting
to know people is to invite them for aperitifs, a stock of assorted drinks,
niblets, olives and slices of sausage etc: this is all you have to do
but you might have to invite the whole village. In our new village Auriac
which has a total population of less than 30 people we were invited to
the Mairie along with everyone in the entire commune for aperitifs provided
by the Mairie so that everyone, even people from the outlying farms could
meet us. We actually didnt quite understand what it was all about
and almost didnt go, which as guests of honour would have been disastrous.
However, you may not be as fortunate as we were and you might be expected
to take the initiative your selves.
Returning to the need for
support I would like to offer just a few bits of advice. I
learned very early on in France that French people love to interfere and
to give advice, this could be seen as treating you as if you were almost
a complete idiot and is quite annoying until you realise that it is their
way of investing in you as a person, as a neighbour and a member of their
community. This idea of investing in you is very important, for instance,
if you need an allotment to grow veggies in, most villagers will have
a spare bit of land somewhere thats not being cultivated and you
offer to buy it, they will rise to the occasion of playing at a little
business and you will probably get your allotment at a grossly inflated
price the news of this and of the price you paid will then become common
knowledge in the village. However if you just inform your neighbour of
your need for a garden he or someone else will most likely lend you one
for life and you will have been invested in. This investment is a sign
of trust and commitment on behalf of your neighbour towards you and as
everyone in the commune will know about it before teatime
you can then expect more investments to follow in the form of advice on
how to till the soil with a mattock and how and when to plant your veggies
and most likely you will be presented with baskets or plastic bags full
of examples grown by your gardening neighbours. One old chap that I grew
to love used to bang on my door at 6.30 in the morning and drag me out
to his allotment to give me lessons on planting French beans. Should you
survive the first couple of years it will probably not be because you
love the French way of life but because you have fallen in love with the
French people themselves.
Many of my clients will tell
me that they dont want to be in a village that already has a lot
of English people living there and I usually reply by advising them to
buy quickly because if you can find an English free village in this area
then you had better get in there quick and enjoy it for a while before
the inevitable next English family moves in.
I know that moving to France
to be with English people is a bit off putting for some, but having one
or two other English or English speaking people already installed in a
village isnt necessarily a negative thing, again thinking about
the need for mutual support. Of course when it gets to stage when there
are so many etrangers in the village that you dont know
if you should say Bonjour or Hello when you go down to the village to
get your bread then perhaps there are just too many English in that village.
There are actually one or
two villages in my patch where I dont recommend my anglophobic
clients look for property, especially if they want to learn to speak French.
One of my friends is a Maire
in a village close to my own and after receiving a complaint from an English
resident regarding other Brits buying in the village, recounted to me
you British are a strange nation, that you cant stand to be
in one anothers company if having a few English in a village
poses no problem to the locals themselves why should it be a problem to
us ?
One final bit of advice regarding
fitting in to a French village community, beware being too friendly with
the first person that knocks on your door, you are entitled to be a bit
suspicious about the French just as they are about you and sometimes the
first friendly person you meet might have a hidden agenda, of course he
or she might just be some lonely person who sees your moving in as a possible
cure for loneliness but they might just have their eye on one of your
fields, try to exercise a little discernment before committing yourselves
to an over friendly neighbour.
Those are my tips for surviving
in France, I suppose I should add that the local Mairie or town hall is
a strange animal for most Brits to come to terms with, but its function
is to serve the community and most French people expect it to be the first
port of call in any dispute or any administrative problems they might
have
my advice is to make use of it as much as you need to and try
to stay on the right side of the Maire.
My wife and I have lived and
worked here for 18 years, our children have grown up here, we love it
here and we intend to stay here for the rest of our days
..
I can offer you
no better recommendation for living in France than that.
Tony Clay
Please contact
us if you are looking for vacation
accommodation or long-term
lets in Languedoc-Roussillon
or click to visit French Internet
Links on King-France.com.
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